Testimony of Claudia Fuchs

I've smoked since I was nine years old - more than 33 years ago -- and I started with alcohol early too!
At home father had his beer and mother her wine. For us kids there was mineral-water, milk or unsweetened tea. We were forbidden to drink coffee.
And I found an alternative in "Apfelmost"-(the German version of a rough cider).
"Apfelmost" is fermented apple juice, and the best way to preserve it - as well as improving its taste - is to add spirits during the fermentation.
When we kids wanted something tasty to drink, the bottle of "Apfelmost" was our only alternative. No-one ever told me that it causes drunkenness and bad breath.
 
Drunkenness and bad breath make for a lonely life!
 
No-one wanted anything to do with me and at some point I decided that I didn't need anyone else either. They should just leave me in peace.
The first thorns started to grow in my personality. Anyone who tried to get close to me got the cold-shoulder immediately. Over the years I have developed lots of ways to build a protective wall around myself.
 
My first experience with beer and cigarettes was with two friends. One brought beer and the other cigarettes. Actually I didn't want to try them, but after repeatedly hearing "Claudia is a coward" I finally gave in to the temptation. Today I know what it means to be pressurized by others.
 
The first cigarette was terrible. I started coughing and felt really sick. The beer bottle was passed round and it was a case of a swig from the bottle, followed by a drag from the cigarette, another swig from the bottle and so on.
Sooner or later I found my way home and sneaked into my room because I didn't want my parents to notice anything. The first thing I did in my room was to throw up, but my parents didn't notice.
Unfortunately my mother went through my schoolbag the next day and found the rest of the pack of cigarettes. She questioned me about it, but I managed to worm my way out. In his usual evening oratory my father said, "If she wants to smoke, then it's her own decision".
And I was only nine years old!
 
After a while I started buying my own cigarettes because my friends wouldn't give me any more. By that time I was hooked on them.
 
Because I was a "Townie" no-one noticed that I slipped deeper and deeper into my own dreamworld. That went on until I was 15 years old. At this time I left home and lived on the streets, sleeping under bridges.
Then I got to know my husband - Karlheinz - who took me home with him.
There I experienced a totally different kind of life!
I was fascinated by this family where practically everything was allowed. For example, we could watch TV in the afternoons which was exactly the opposite of the rules we had in my own home. I felt free and happy.
 
But it didn't remain so happy, because time passed and brought other burdens with it.
I had married at 18. At 20 I started caring for a mentally handicapped person. At 28, seemingly overnight, I had three children too. It was getting to be too much for me so that when no-one was looking and the kids were in bed I treated myself to a bottle of beer. That helped me to relax and forget about the day's problems. The kids weren't easy and before long a single bottle of beer wasn't enough either. My consumption increased. But alcohol costs money, and sooner or later it became a question of finances. Where did I end up???
"Apfelmost" because it was the cheapest!
What followed were times when I drank until I couldn't take any more.
But still secretly!
 
One day in 1992 during a training session in the gym my husband accepted Jesus Christ into his life. He went for a while to a community in “Hamrnelburg” where he also attended their meeting circles. In 1998 he let himself be baptized.
I thought that this step meant the end of our marriage.
We had had a catholic wedding in 1981, and what my husband had done seemed to me to be the final act to end the marriage. I had been raised in a strong catholic household and had turned my back on God at 14.
 
As if this wasn't enough, the alcohol consume started to create problems in my life because I was no longer able to control it.
At this time I had already been doing martial arts for several years and had started a course as trainer. One of the rules in the gym is "No alcohol in the rooms".
Anyone who is dependent on alcohol meets problems at this stage. My hands were shaking so much that one of the trainers asked me what was wrong. At first I managed to keep the secret to myself.
 
But the time came when the trainer insisted on having a private chat with me. It was one of the most painful discussions in my life, but also the most healing of them.
I accepted for the first time during our chat that I had a problem - and needed help. What a revelation! It hurt to look the truth in the face. I'm still thankful for what he did at the time.
 
1. He spoke to me objectively and informatively.
2. He didn't report me.
3. He said that he would support me.
4. He helped me.
5. He offered me his friendship.

He was a policeman, and checked me before every session to be sure that I wasn't drunk when I went onto the mat. That helped me because I enjoy teaching.

Then came the next step:
Rule Nr. 1. Put the car keys away after the first drink.
Rule Nr. 2. Empty half the glass away and say "I've done it" and then go straight to bed.
(That was good, but I still wasn't healed).

I was like Saul, who was persecuted by the townsfolk because he looked after the clothes of those who stoned Stephen to death. Whenever Karlheinz prayed, I felt myself compelled to make a lot of noise. As I prepared the midday meal, I let the food-mixer run like a chainsaw, banged the doors, and never stopped complaining.

One day, as fate wished it, Karlheinz and I both lay in bed with the 'flu! We both read what interested us -- Karlheinz his bible and I had a horro story. That was the difference in our lives -, his good and mine bad.

Karlheinz went to the meeting circles every Friday evening. This is a circle where they all exchange their views and opinions. They sing and laugh! Everything that was missing in our life!

The one who arranged these circles came with his wife and invited me personally to one of their barbecues.

I was surprised to find out that I found them all nice, and was pleased that they didn't start to preach about Jesus and Co. straightaway. It was an enjoyable afternoon, and I promised to attend one of their circles sooner or later.
I was repeatedly reminded about my promise! And one thing that I'd always learned is that promises are not to be broken.

The singing was something which I enjoyed. As a child I always wanted to sing and play! And they were so way-out that I thought they were right for me.
I was also very curious, so I went to their service on Sunday.
Alter the service l drove home to cook the Sunday lunch. The problem was that I didn't know where to start. I rang a member of the circle.

After our chat I made a deal with Jesus! He should let me cook. If He allowed me to get a meal of roast pork on the table within a fixed time, I'd accept Him into my life. 20 minutes for roast pork with dumplings -- let's go. What we see as impossible is childsplay for the Lord!

The roast was on the table, and l told my family we should say Grace for it. Karlheinz probably thought: "Now the Lord will appear personally!" For seven long years he'd preached, worked and tried everything possible with me and his reward had been nothing but complaints.
That evening I invited Jesus into my life and cried the whole pain out of me and repented all the bad things I'd ever said, or done, or thought.
Repention in my case means that I will never more turn away from God. I have told Jesus that he shall rule my life and make me whole again! That was in July 1999.

Later I got to thinking that I couldn't keep on praying and being drunk at the same time, so I repented to the whole circle that I'd prayed whilst under the influence of alcohol.
At out next Sunday Service I had a vision.
In this vision I had to bring all of my alcohol to the cross on top of a mountain. Then I had to go back down the mountain without looking back - which was the mistake which sealed the fate of Lot's wife. I was first allowed to look back when I was at the foot of the mountain, and saw only a solitary wooden cross.

But then there was still the problem with smoking!
In 2005 we couldn't go to a Sunday Service because Karlheinz was ill. Mockingly I started telling him that those who don't smoke and live a healthy life are always the first ones to get sick. Having said this I went to bed.

The next morning I was so ill I could hardly get out of bed –
Karlheinz was fit and healthy!.
Until midday I was so bad that I had trouble getting my breath, as well as permanently coughing. For the first time I was really afraid. I kept having breathing problems - but longed for a cigarette. I thought I was dying.

If I tried to smoke, I couldn't get my breath. If I got my breath then the longing started all over again. I was all-in, and added to this I had a fever. I cried to God either to help me or to let me die.

The pain ebbed, and I fought the withdrawal symptoms for three weeks.
After the 3 weeks the worst was over and I got better from day to day. I was able to get up more, and finally to stay up the whole day. That was good!
I had more peace and contentment than I'd ever known before in my life.

In Jesus Christ I found a hand which lifted me up, strengthened me, and remodelled my whole life!

 

Claudia Fuchs has taught martial arts at a special school (girls educational work), in Germany. At the moment, she teaches two beginners and an advanced group. Her main task is in helping the girls experience new horizons in their lives. Building up their self-confidence belongs to this as well as giving them new strength and energy. They also learn to build social contacts and to develop community sense.
She has much to do with girls suffering from ADS (attention deficit syndrome) who have had to undergo sexual abuse in their young lives.
Her main task is also to explain to them that Jesus Christ is always with them wherever they may be. Personal justice for the girls and their belief is nothing abstract but rather a fundamental part of their lives.

Claudia explains:

To take on responsibility for oneself, as well as also for the partner is an essential component in the development of maturity. Most beginner girls have little -or no - experience with sport. However computer-games, reading and learning are well known to them. This often leads to a lack of self-confidence. I call this a modern deficit caused by an unquenched desire to realize my own value. Or also the search for myself.
From self-defense, one knows the expression “victim's complex”.  Potential attackers also recognize this immediately. In my opinion, this arises from the way the children are brought up by their parents. It is necessary to find the cause for this and try to find solutions.
As a Christian who believes that Jesus Christ rose from the dead and lives among us today, I believe that HE helps me to find the solutions.
When the girls understand who they are, and their own potential, then they will increase their opinion of themselves and their self-confidence enormously helping them to combat the “victim complex”. Then potential attackers will immediately see: With HER it’s too dangerous to try anything.
A small practical part of it: We sometimes practice the nonverbal communication. Every trainer knows why you have to quieten down the group, they are simply too loud. I then trust God to help me think of a short story.
An example: On a sunny day, a bear goes for a walk and looks for food. Then everyone has to play the part of the bear in front of the group. In these games, they learn to cope with criticism, to handle stress and then dare the first step on the water leading to the road to success. No-one jumps the queue, because there is no “right” or “wrong” and all get there in the end. Every bear is different, and I've learned to be patient. Naturally one can also help one or other of the girls.
My favorite remark to this is: There is nothing I can't do.... until I've tried it out. I prefer to demand less of myself later, than to be a loser without even trying. Also here, Jesus is an example for me. Jesus demands no more from me than I can accomplish and HIS demands on me are not excessive.
A short story about this: As I played this game with them one of the schoolgirls sat in the middle of the mat and didn't move. She was completely relaxed. When she didn't move for some time, I asked her what kind of bear she was. She replied: "I am the bear who has just come back from the walk and now I'm waiting for my meal, because I'm a circus bear and don't have to feed myself." One could say she'd missed the point, but I had to laugh so, because that could have been from me.
Our Lord, full of humor and fun, is just the same. Sometimes He holds a mirror in front of me. Just to make me feel comfortable. And I always notice how Jesus himself participates in the   smallest things as well.
The ADS is one of the most frequent problems, also called attention deficit syndrome. As it is written, it is to be taken practically.
In the ministration, I have learned that there are five languages of love. Each individual one helps build the self esteem. These are:

1. Praise and acknowledgment
2. Serving and being served
3. Gifts
4. Undivided attention
5. Body contact without sexuality

These love languages should be spoken about in the parental home. Since however, the parents already have low self esteem, we pose the question: Who can now teach these children self esteem to fill the void?
If I now determine with a schoolgirl, that she obviously has a problem, why shouldn't I ask the Lord which language of love is best for her, and what does she need at the moment. At times like this a quick prayer is needed to find the matching answer. In Greek, love-as God means-it is called "AGAPE". This is God's love and doesn't have anything to do with sexuality, and means translated: , to give to loved ones, something they need and not just that which they want. I find this marvelous and especially because it is also the Lord who knows, where the man is and what is in his heart. And then comes the spiritual healing and I can see it happening.
For example: Sisters 12 years old. The older of the two is very rebellious, and I ask God in my prayers what she needs. And I ask her: “Tell me what your problem is, and why you are so angry.” The result was that she simply broke down and cried. What had happened? The mother had died in a car accident and someone had persuaded her that she was responsible for it. I told her, that she was not responsible for it and that Jesus loved her dearly. In the end, the whole group sat on the mat and shared the pain with the two of us. One calls this community crying. The rebellion had broken and the lessons could continue normally. Somebody from the boarding school told me that a psychologist had already tried to find the cause for this for months. In the meantime the girls are doing well and have given up their mourning and anger and learned to forgive.
How I help them? I let the light - that Jesus gave me – shine through. I let the people be as they are and accept them – or occasionally let them go their own way. This is hard to put in to words, because each human is different and should be handled individually. Jesus has his own plan for everyone and HE me sometimes lets me participate. Certainly, this is also a matter of personal fragility. If I know no further – HE has the answer.
What seems impossible for us is no problem for God. Quotation from Jesus in the gospel according to St. Mark chapter 10 verse 27.
To step into the sphere of the lack of ADS also makes itself physically noticeable. That is plain to see. There, natural movements turn into the running the gauntlet. With a schoolgirl with ADS, I always thought that she was kidding me at the fall technique lessons. I showed her that she did it wrong, simply didn't make any natural movements. As a trainer, one tries to remove this deficits or blemishes. Because everyone thinks the examiner is prepared to let them fail, they think they are right to say “I'll probably be the first to fail”. I have been a trainer for altogether 11 years and so far, none of my students has failed. Moreover angular movements for the spinal cord are dangerous. However in one case.... oh I despair at the thought. And look. Through an impulse, I asked her if she took medication. And then I found out, that almost 50 percent of all students take medication. I was shocked. Earlier we managed with fresh air, or occasionally one on the rear end. Okay some went a bit far, my father too, but medication to calm down, medication to wake up, and medication for everything else is enough to make you sick.
ADS make themselves noticeable everywhere. What should they do – get rid of there deficits. I am of the solid conviction that Jesus removes these problems if one only trusts HIM. Now, I am solution-orientated in my life. And I found a solution in my lifestyle. I call it resurrection strength. Roughly it is said that Jesus was reawakened from the dead by the spirit of God. This spirit of God is known to most people as the Holy Ghost who came at Whitsun to help all christians.
If I entrust my life in Jesus Christ and he is the canon of my life, I can also receive the Holy Ghost from God. In detail, one cannot accept it here. That would be like a sermon.  That’s how I start preaching in the middle of the instruction. "My" girls know that from me in the finest detail.
Another form of ADS is hyperactivity. Now the dream of each trainer is the sufficient movement of the students. Especially in fight sport. Here the girl thinks faster than she moves. So, hesitation occurs and possibly leads to sprains. With one of the girls I noticed this too late. So, a dislocation of the collarbone was the result. She was faster in her thoughts than in her reactions. These hyper activists are difficult to calm down and are always on the move. They quickly become difficult to handle.
Another challenge I am confronted with is that of sexual abuse. Not rarely, it occurs that a girl comes back to school as a woman after the holidays.
An example: I'll simply call the girl K. After a lesson a group had positioned itself as a greeting. K stood at the window and didn't move. I called her.  No reaction. On that day, we had 30 degrees in the shade and it was the next-to-last training before the examination. I thought she was about to faint, because I'd noticed for weeks how she had lost weight. The circulation can suffer at times like that. Now, I went to her and spoke about the class-formation. There was no reaction. I determined that she was totally confused and didn't react to loud sounds either. No question of a doctor – there was none there. Ambulances?  You always must go with them. What should I do??? I got the impulse from Jesus to do the right thing!
Feet up, wait, pray quietly – have faith. She regains consciousness - cold towels. Quietly what is wrong? Nothing. What did you eat today? Nothing. What did you drink today? Nothing. Oje, what shall I do??? I hear myself asking: "What troubles your heart so much, that you refuse to eat", Then the feelings flood over and she lets everything out. She must lose weight. She is only 12, and the boys in the primary school had always said it and now the mother says it too. I pray quietly and get the answer put into my heart. Sexual abuse. What can I do?? The Lord is good to me. HE knows how to handle information like this. Especially I have my own experiences in this area and I know about the pain. In this case, HE let me cry too. I could sense the pain of K. Meanwhile, the others of the group had already gone home and had cleared the mats away.  So I sat on the naked floor with a human wreck before me and cried for her pain.
No body contact but -just tears - and she saw the tears. At last she asks me why I cry because the matter is nothing to do with me. Now, she hadn't experienced this and I told her what was happening with me. Weep with the weepers. This is in the book of the Romans (New Testament). Once again from the start, yes God had left her in the lurch and nevertheless she is forced into the church and finally became a Ministrant. She has no interest in a God, who would allow such things to happen without defending her. Wisdom is needed here. I tell her about Jesus and God's love and that she didn't do anything wrong and that God has not damned her only because this terrible thing happened to her. There were ways to handle it. But starving is not one of them. And God is with her and sees her pain and that is why I cried with her. She knew exactly in her heart and should give Jesus a chance. Invite HIM into your life. You are old enough to reach your own decisions and to make the right one. Wait and see what happens. A few days later I saw her shopping with her mother. As my gaze met her eyes, I knew, JESUS had won this fight. She grins, I grin and we know from each other that we are sisters in Jesus. Two weeks later, the examination party was at a Chinese restaurant, and I saw her eat and then order a second portion.
Our God is really good and HE heals everything.

 

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